He'd Make a Lousy Dog

As I watch people, I am always amazed at how many would make lousy dogs. Man’s Best Friend would make a better human than these homosapien mongrels and the only trait they have in common is the ability to lick their own asses. They just don’t get it, especially those humans who fail in the parenting or friend departments. These people are worse than felines when it comes to believing they’re gods and the rest of the world is merely there to cater to their whims. They need to be put outside and the recliner given to the dog.

In order to get a better understanding of what I’m talking about, let’s take a peek at just a few of the canine’s personality traits. I’m sure you’ll understand what I am referring to and will soon be dropping some of the parents and friends you know at the nearest animal shelter and picking up a dog.

First, a dog is protective. When Char and I first began our family, the first thing I did was buy a dog. I wanted a lap dog and we found a cute bundle of fur at the animal shelter that needed a home. Being young and stupid at the time, I didn’t realize that to help determine how big the dog will grow, you checked out his paw. My lap dog was going to need three laps to stretch out on and even though he was nowhere near the size I had wanted, he thought he was and climbed into my lap constantly. It didn’t matter to him that he overflowed my lap.

In one of the houses we lived in, we had a screened in porch and a chain link fence around the yard. However, we never closed the gate over the driveway, because I was too lazy to get in and out of the car every time we needed to go somewhere to open and close it. Riley, our wheaten terrier mix, never ventured past the fence, so I was never really worried.

Our mailbox resided on the edge of the fence on the opposite side, so the mailman could deliver our bills and spam mail without stepping into the yard. Our dog never paid attention to this stranger that came to our fence every day as long as he stayed on the other side. He would glance up occasionally, see who it was, and then resume watching over the boys on the porch. One day, however, the mailman needed to deliver a package that wouldn’t fit into the mailbox. He stepped past the fence and before he could take another step, Riley was out the door, barking a warning that dared the man to move another inch. The mailman didn’t take the dare.

Char was screaming at Riley to stop as she tried to catch up to him and eventually he did. Char apologized to the mailman and the mailman apologized to Riley. “I entered his domain. He was just protecting his family. That’s what dogs do.”

It wasn’t just against strangers either that Riley protected against. He seemed to know who the weaker individual was in our family wrestling matches and sided with them. Whenever the boys and I would begin teasing around with each other, Riley sided with the boys. One time, he even bit me on the ass to get me to cease and desist. I knew the boys were growing up when Riley switched sides and joined me against them. That’s when I started feeling old.

We need to protect each other and, most importantly, we need to protect our family. There are too many people only looking out for themselves as they throw their pity parties. They don’t care to protect their family or their friends.

I will defend those I care about from slander as well as physical harm. I also believe everyone should do the same and perhaps less drama would be put out there since they know they will be called to task on it. If you see someone post something negative about someone you care about or hear something said that you know hurts another person and you say nothing against it, you’re just as bad as the person who said it. “I don’t want to get involved” or “I don’t want to choose sides” makes you a lousy friend. When arrows fly, it’s time to circle the wagons, not hightail it out of there. Stand up for those you stand by and when you’re under attack, you won’t stand alone.

Dogs are also very loyal. They stand by you no matter what. They’re not waiting for a better owner to come along and steal their attention. They are faithful and always by your side.

Riley was always wherever we were. If we were outside, he was outside. In the bedroom, he would be there trying to sneak up on the bed. Sitting around watching TV, he would be in the middle of the floor, sprawled out waiting for his snack along with the boys. He even waited outside the bathroom door if I was the only one home. He loved being with us and rarely left our side.

There are people who have no concept of what loyalty means. They’re ready to jump on the next exciting bandwagon that comes along. They’re not faithful with their words or their friendship. They are fickle and shallow and tend to go with the direction of the wind of popularity. These are not friends or even family members I want to surround myself with. I want people who have my back as I have theirs and those are the friendships I invest the time in.

Dogs are also always ready with their attention. Whether it’s playing catch, sharing a treat from the grill, or just cuddling up on the couch, dogs are always ready to spend time with you. With a whistle or a clap of hands, you call out the dog’s name and they’re right there, wagging their tail and ready to go.

People need our attention. I understand that life gets busy, but if I’m the only one ever reaching out to you to go do something, I’m going to cease the invites. Furthermore parents, your children need your attention and not just in front of a television or computer. Read to them. Play with them. Make crafts with them. They crave it and if you don’t have time to do it, your priorities are out of whack.

Dogs make more than great pets. They make good people. Sometimes, they make better humans than actual humans. And sometimes people don’t even make good dogs. The sad thing is there isn’t a shelter we can drop these people off at unless you count Walmart. Maybe that’s why I avoid going there.

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