The Disney Infinity Game

“To infinity and beyond!” Okay, c’mon, the title had infinity in it. Plus it’s Disney. You know I had to say it. I don’t know if you are familiar with Disney Infinity or even if you are into video games. It’s an elaborate video game based around Disney characters such as the Incredibles, Jack Sparrow, Monsters Inc., and more. I’ve noticed it in the stores a few months ago and finally asked the girls to get it for my birthday. They weren’t surprised that I requested something about Disney. However, they were surprised that it was a video game. I don’t play video games.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. I used to play Angry Birds on my phone constantly. Then the 9-year-old asked to play it and tripled my score. I just stared at her. “Big deal. Can you do calculus?”

“Of course not, Robbie. I’m only nine. Can you do it?”

“Well, no, but that’s beside the point.” I then went and sat in my rocking chair.

The older kids play Call of Duty online. They have headsets and everything, which to me is pretty high tech, but then again, I just let go of my Walkman. It took me a few days to realize that they were talking to their siblings in another part of town and not just yelling at the computer generated mercenaries or the television screen like their grandmother does during footballs games. They asked me to play once and I quickly sat down, grateful for the opportunity to be included in what they enjoyed. I picked up one of the controllers and asked what I need to do.

“Just aim and shoot.”

What they didn’t tell me was how to maneuver the man around or even how to shoot. They kept sneaking up behind me, blowing my head off before I even had my gun pointed. They laughed over their headsets. I just grew frustrated.

After I grounded them, I went to the store to buy Mario Brothers, something simple.

I have never been good at video games. I am just not coordinated enough to maneuver the controls the way I need to in order to do anything but die. I did, however, die well.

And often.

So the girls were a tad confused when I asked for the Disney Infinity game. Yet, ignoring their befuddlement as well as that nagging feeling at the base of their necks that told them this wasn’t going to end well, they were sweet enough to grant me my wish. I smiled like a little kid at Christmas as I unwrapped it and quickly hooked it up to the Wii.

Okay, that is not entirely true, either. Char hooked it up because I’m not really good at that on top of everything else I am not good at, like fixing cars or putting the toilet seat down. Once it was hooked up and ready to go, I set my characters on the Infinity Base and hit play. What I didn’t do was read the little booklet that they put in the game case that tells you how to work the controls. To be honest, I didn’t even see it because I was too eager to get the game started. I’m pushing buttons and waving my joystick around–get your minds out of the gutter–trying to figure out what buttons caused what responses. It was frustrating but fun at the same time.

After I died several times in glorious fashion, the 9-year-old wanted a shot at it. Just because it was my gift didn’t mean she wasn’t going to take it over. I had Angry Birds flashbacks. Needless to say, she didn’t read the booklet, either. However, she knew how to jump, climb, block and everything else. I can’t even get my character to walk in a straight line. To make matters worse, as I sit there trying to get Sully to climb a dorm building, the cocky 9-year-old walks by giving me tips and advice–unwanted advice, I assure you. “Push the minus button to block.” “Hit A twice to jump higher.” “Push Z to fight.” “That’s not Z, that’s C.”

What the hell? “I remember when we only needed one button to fire and a lever to move the guy around.”

“This isn’t Galaga. Geesh.”

I drop the control and go sit in my rocking chair again.

I love the game and I do play it–alone or when the kids aren’t around. I don’t mind looking like a fool in front of the girls. They’re used to it. I’m even getting better at it–the game that is, not looking like a fool. The girls might say both, but let’s not ask them.

I recommend the game. It’s relaxing in a frustrating, throw-the-game-controller-through-the-screen kind of way. But, then again, you may be better at it than I am. I also use it to take a mental break after I’ve been writing for a while and need to unwind the brain cells. The break is always good for procrastination, as well, not that I really need help with that. So, give it a try–the game, not procrastinating–and let me know how you do. Unless, of course, you’re better than me at it, that is. Then you can just tell the 9-year-old.

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